Home, Sweet home.

Jericho (Our Mini Cooper) is a traitor. He has a new best friend. Even after everything we've given him, he stills loves the tow truck more. He decided after we drove for 26 hours that he just couldn't take it anymore even though we only had ONE MORE HOUR to go. So he decided to blow a tire. In the RAIN. When it was 49 DEGREES outside. My boots were soaked, my pants were soaked. I was exhausted, and once again crying my eyes out. When will it be enough? So no Jericho is DEFINITELY on my SL. This is the third time he has been towed in THREE WEEKS! I can't say I really blame him though after driving across the country, I'm sure it's exhausting, and this IS the third time.

Needless to say, I finally made it home at 1:30 am when I should have been there around 8! however I am safe and that's what matters, and after sleeping the entire day away I feel much better. I will defeat this deployment no matter what it throws at me.

Falling

Last night was rough to say the least. JUST when I actually started to sleep, I had a pretty intense dream. I dreamt that I was walking along and I accidentally stepped into a muddy puddle and my feet slipped out from under me. I fell backwards but it was like there wasn't any ground under me and I just kept falling. Just when I was about to land I literally felt my arms jerk up to catch myself which abruptly woke me up. When I woke up tears started pouring out of my eyes, I couldn't control it. It was pretty scary to wake up like that in a completely dark, empty house, alone. 

Later I Googled it, and found that most often dreams about falling simply mean you are at an overwhelming point in your life. Which is definitely where I am right now. Between the car breaking down, being stranded for those two days, and the car rentals we spent a total of $1,230, then the death of our sweet little Mojo, moving, staying strong & keeping my head up so I wouldn't worry my sweet husband, and then deployment, I'd definitely say it's enough to overwhelm someone. It's a different kind of overwhelmed though, I'm just exhausted. I want to be home already so I can start to breathe again. There is so much going on right now I haven't even had a chance to miss him yet. All I can say is tomorrow cannot possibly come fast enough. I just have to finish packing up the last of our things, wait for them to inspect our apartment and I am out of here.

See You Soon

The hardest part is officially over & my heart has begun to ache. I have no doubt that things will get worse before they get better, but a day is behind me and all I can do is look forward to this all being over. The next two days are not going to be easy. All I have to look at is an empty house. This is the time when Mojo was always my best friend. He would come cuddle with me, and not leave my side as if to say he knew I was sad. 

So far I have managed to keep myself from breaking down, by focusing on my plans throughout the next year and reminding myself that in only two days I will be on my way to be with our family. I definitely want to keep myself in a positive mindset throughout, to keep both of us strong, and a part of me is even a little excited to be starting the next step of our journey together. Our marriage is rock solid, and I know we will make it through this like champs. That's not to say there won't be days when I won't be able to drag myself out of bed, but I do know that we can do this together even though we're oceans apart.

I managed to snap a picture as he left. It was nice to capture our last moment together before he walked away. We are both exhausted as it has been a very long, stressful couple of weeks. We've been through a lot even after everything in my last post, but there's nothing in the world that can tear apart a love like this.

I have a TON of stuff planned. My business has really taken off, so that is my main goal right now. I want to focus on getting it where I want it to be. I have officially purchased a website finally and I'm almost done putting it together. It still has quite a bit of work to be done though, so that should keep me busy over the next couple weeks. I am really looking forward to getting started on the first care package which should arrive just in time for Valentines Day, and I Definitely can't wait to start blogging regularly again. 

Well, off I go to dreamland, I have a very important date with a very handsome man who has promised me a Tulip just like every other night that he's away. 

Strength

I don't go to church, and I don't read the bible, but I do believe in God & right now I believe he is trying to help us grow and become stronger. We have a very long road ahead with deployment literally right around the corner and I think God is testing the strength of our marriage and showing us that together we can overcome anything. 

The last two weeks have been a nightmare. Christmas leave started on the 20th and so we left for Texas with our two dogs on the 21st. From Virginia Beach to San Antonio is a 29hr drive without stopping at all. We left around 7pm and we got about 5 hours down the road when our car broke down on the highway about 10 miles from the nearest town. It took about another hour before we got a hold of road side assistance, and then another hour after that before a tow truck arrived. when we finally got settled into a hotel for the night it was about 2:30am. we were exhausted. We found an auto repair shop about 2 miles away from us so hubby decided to drive the car over since it was still working a little. He got about 1/10 of a mile away when it completely gave out, so he waited another hour for a tow truck to arrive. When he finally got there they said since our car is a Mini Cooper which is a BMW model they didn't have any of the parts in stock so they would have to order it, and due to the holidays it wouldn't be in til the following Tuesday.

We spent two more days in that hotel before we finally gave up and rented a car. We were wasting time that we should have been spending with family. It was now Christmas Eve, and $285 later we finally got a rental car. We drove straight through for the next 24 hours and finally made it safely to Texas. We had a great Christmas and things were starting to look up!

We forgot all about the car and started to relax. Four days after we got to Texas my husband's little brothers went out in the backyard to play where their parent's three Labradors are kept. Now my adorable little Yorkie Mojo who loves to be curious and follow everyone decided to follow them out the back door. Since Bear, the male Lab had never met him he didn't take to kindly to it, and he immediately attacked. I heard him screaming so I ran out the back and saw the chaos as all the boys were tackling Bear trying to get him off. Mojo finally broke free and took off running toward me, but Bear got him again. When Mojo finally made his way into my arms I could tell he was hurt badly. He couldn't breathe. We RUSHED him to the vet clinic where I used to work and I was terrified. They immediately took X-rays & decided he  needed emergency surgery. He had a torn thorax and God knows what else and after an hour long procedure he finally succumbed to it. I have never missed a dog so much before. He was literally our baby. We spent the rest of our time in Texas without much more tragedy, then made our way home. our house is so empty without the little pitter patter of puppy paws running around. 

We have only a handful of days left at this house, til it feels like the whole world will fall apart again. After everything we went through I just waned some time to relax and enjoy being in my husband's arms before he leaves, but we can't even do that. In between him working all day & packing up our house at night there isn't anytime left for anything else. We are both exhausted.