Happy Thoughts:

11/22/10

Mili Mondays: Don't Do It Alone



Hey all! I’m Trish from This Life of Ours.  Pleased to meet you.


First, thank you Betty for the opportunity to write this. I had so much fun and I hope I can be of some help to other military spouses/girlfriends/fianc├ęs etc.

I married my husband Paul, a naval aviator, over three years ago. We’ve been blessed that during our marriage, Paul has spent most of his time in flight school and other training. Up until May of this year, the most we had been apart during the course of our marriage was two weeks. Two weeks apart, over three years, in a military marriage. Unheard of, right? Please don’t hate me.

Well, as the saying goes “every good thing must come to an end,” and this proves true for our lack of separation. Paul’s squadron is gearing up for a long deployment next year so we’re in the workup phase.  Since May, Paul’s been home about nine weeks. I’m alone a lot these days. Well, besides my two adorable pups.

I’ve always prided myself on being fiercely independent. The truth is that Paul thinks that I’m a little too independent. I like things a certain way, want them done the way I want it, and usually will try and do it myself because it’s just easier than asking for help. Type A much? You betcha.

I think independence is a great quality for a military spouse to possess but sometimes, something’s got to give. We can’t do it all, all of the time. We’re not superwomen even though sometimes we feel we have to be.  I’m just a fumbling 26- year old teacher who happens to be married to a man who leaves her a lot because of his job. It’s a lonely, stressful, and tiring lifestyle, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. You know why?  I don’t have to handle it alone.

In my humble opinion, the absolute best part of being military spouse (besides the discounts and commissary of course- I kid) is the amazing friendships I have made. Friends that have done everything for me from help move a dining room table, to watching my pups, to cooking me dinner when Paul is gone, to coming over when I had to call the police after my car was broken into (good times, good times). Any hour, any day, anything, my friends are there.  There’s really no better feeling than knowing I still have people that are there for me when Paul can’t be.

So, my advice to you from my relatively short stint as a Navy wife is to surround yourself with other strong and positive women. Women that will be there to pick you up when you need it, share a bottle of wine (my friends are great for that) or take you out on a hot Saturday night date. Women like you! Put yourself out there, make good friends, and, most importantly, be a good friend. You won’t find many other careers that allow your friends to become lifelong family so soak it up! It’s one of the many sweet things to living the good old military life.