The little girl in this picture is really not helping me out right now, but she's a doll!
Ever since I was a little girl all I have ever wanted was to be a mommy and a good wife. So now that I am the wife to a very good man, all I can seem to think about is being a mommy! lol We've only been married for a few months, and we promised we'd wait a while before having children. My husband has expressed the same childhood dream of being a daddy, which makes it even harder to wait.
Regardless, I still can't get it off my mind, and my hubby knows this too.
I'm sure we will end up waiting like we are supposed to but I just have to let it out, it's driving me crazy! I don't know if it's just all the children who have been around me lately or what because now that we are around so many military families it seems there are children everywhere & babysitting them is really not helping me at ALL!
Someone said to me "Don't ever wait if you want to have children, have them now, because all you're doing is wasting time you could be spending with them." I know we can care for a child & I think we would be great parents, I know when the time comes we WILL be great parents. It's all we have ever wanted, to raise a child, love him, and teach him to do right. We have so much love to give, I just am not sure on the other hand if I am ready to give up so much freedom. We enjoy being able to just pack up and go whenever we please. We enjoy being able to have a night out without question, or being able to have people over for get togethers and such without worrying about waking baby.
Then there is the other thought that runs through my mind of what if hubby isn't here when baby is born? He only has a couple more years left in the Navy at this point, the original plan was to wait til he got out, but that's not looking so great anymore. I know I could handle the fact that he won't be here for everything at first, but he's still concerned that I would become overwhelmed.
Then there is the other thought that runs through my mind of what if hubby isn't here when baby is born? He only has a couple more years left in the Navy at this point, the original plan was to wait til he got out, but that's not looking so great anymore. I know I could handle the fact that he won't be here for everything at first, but he's still concerned that I would become overwhelmed.
Several of you I'm sure have gone through this so what are your thoughts, and what helped you decide?
We waited until about the 2.5 year mark, that's when we found out we were pregnant. Alex was born 2 months after our 3 year anniversary. In my opinion it's good to wait, especially if you haven't been together that long. Even though hubby and I knew each other in high school we were together 8 months before marrying and the first year of marriage was our toughest. I'm glad we waited, we were able to get to know each other on a deeper level before bringing a child into the relationship. On another note it's a good idea to have your baby while in the military, the prenatal care and the hospital stay for your delivery is free for tricare prime (you might pay a a little something if you're on standard). So I say you need to wait but definitely have your baby before he gets out.
ReplyDeleteI have an award for you on my page!
ReplyDeleteThanks Ashley :) Yeah we are on Prime and that's one of the things I was thinking about too, he only has a couple years left in and he's thinking about getting out after that so I'm not so sure it's such a good idea to wait. We've only been married four months, but everything has been great everyone says it will change but I really don't think it will, we have a great relationship and we actually have good communication lol
ReplyDeleteOne thing to really think about since you have prime is consider switching to standard for your pregnancy and delivery. Every person that I have spoken to about their labor and delivery at Portsmouth is really unhappy about the way it went. I myself had a bad experience with the doctors at Portsmouth (they put me into premature labor and I had my baby 4 weeks early). The other thing is that unless you have your monthly prenatal appointments at Portsmouth you won't have the same doctor who treats you for prenatal at your delivery. And chances are even if you do go to Portsmouth for prenatal you might not have the same doctor either! I highly doubt the co-pay if you're on standard during pregnancy will be unreasonable and in my mind it's totally worth paying it to have a civilian doctor be there from start to finish and to have a great experience during delivery. If you need resources I had a wonderful doula that helped me through it all and she has a ton of resources for local OBs, midwives, pediatricians, etc.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry I'm not good with all the Tricare stuff is Portsmouth the only place nearby that we can go to with Prime? Yes i totally agree when the time comes it is worth it to have the same DR from start to finish, I would get very frustrated being switched around.
ReplyDeleteIf you have Prime then you MUST go to Portsmouth for your delivery (unless it turns into an emergency like mine, had to call 911 and everything). There are several Prime clinics scattered around town for OB/GYN that you can be assigned to if you don't want to travel to Portsmouth every month. Just let them know at your doctor's office when you get your pregnancy confirmed. I went to the Dam Neck clinic for my prenatal care but I would've delivered at Portsmouth. Dam Neck is a pretty small clinic so I was able to see the same doctor every month, she just would not be the one to deliver me. But if you choose to go with Standard then you have your pick of doctors that will be with you for your prenatal care, labor and delivery. Just be sure to find one that delivers at a hospital close by. :)
ReplyDeleteI am gonna give u my opinion from one friend to another.. i would really consider in waiting. I was feeling the same way you were , i have alot of military friends who have kids and i was feeeling left out and everywhere i looked i saw adorable babies and was just curious how it would be to be a mommy, but honestly after i thought about it , there is alot more to consider. one big thing is cost, a baby cost so much and with all the debt we have to take care of i know we cant afford a baby..plus its good to be married longer than just a couple months , i know u and ur husband are happy and everything and i am not saying that will change but ur first yr of marriage is your toughest and especially with your husband being gone having a baby would be twice as hard, i know when my husband was gone i was happy that i only had myself to worry about i know alot of young military wives who have kids and there husbands are gone and they are very overwhelmed and stressed and its because they dont have there husbands around to help or to lighten there load and they love there kids but sometimes wishes they wouldnt have had kids just yet.. raising a family in the military is not easy but yet alot of people do it, but if I had to choose i believe its better to raise your family outside of military.. and thats one big reason why me and my husband wanna wait, we wanna enjoy each other, u have all kinds of time to have kids but once u bring a kid into the relationship things do change.. with a newly married couple its nice to enjoy each other first.. my husband and i have been married over a yr and we wanna enjoy time together first before bringing in a kid. plus being away from family doesnt make it any easier, i know i want my family to be around and i want to make sure we're financially stable, not in debt and have a house to call our own so we can bring our baby up in a great enviornment with love and family nearby for support. I definately suggest waiting i did and i am glad because its what i feel is for the best.. but definately thing about things first, its a big step and alot to consider..
ReplyDeletep.s. we can always talk about it when i see u, its better to talk in person..
ReplyDeleteThank you all SOOOO much for your comments! You have no idea how much I appreciate them, you all have different points of view, and new ideas for me to think about and take in consideration. Like I said I'm sure we will wait anyways but I just have to get all the craziness out of my system lol but again Thanks so much for reading, and your advice!
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